We do not know where death awaits us; so let us wait for it everywhere. To parctice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave. Michel De Montaigne.
I can't seem to get this quote out of my mind since I read it. I sat down awhile ago in my favorite chair and when I did the leaves of the red maple shimmered in the sun as they moved back and forth in the breeze. Two yellow finches flew by in my line of vision. When I got up to take my coffee cup to the kitchen ten, tall 'from the same plant' rocket ligularia commanded me to look. And round about them were the black-eyed susans, the astilbe, the bergemot and the lilies all vieing for my attention. How does one practice death in settings like this? I suspect it has to do with focus.
I have a grandson who practices and practices and practices piano or anything that has to do with music. He can give me birthdates and deathdates of all the great composers. He informed me in our 'last might' conversation that he will be a music professor. Will he? I don't know. I do know he is focused enough that at 16 he gave up a week's vacation at the beach in order to practice and study for a music exam tomorrow.
Why don't we see the practicing of death in the same light? Perhaps it is because we see death as a painful thing, a depressing thing, a scary thing. Is it because we really don't believe what we say we believe? When I sat in my chair and watched the shimmering leaves the thought came to me; "How do I practice death right here, right now?" And I couldn't help but think that it would be quite like stepping from a beatiful flowered filled verandah over the threshold into an even more beautiful house. This afternoon I go to the Nursing Home where every room is filled with someone waiting to die. I have never thought of it 'til now but I believe those rooms that are cheery, with folks in them who are at peace, are the rooms that are home to some sweet soul who, though they probably would never couch how they feel in these words, have spent time practicing death.
So I go back to the job at hand - picking out all the stitches that went into joining eighy-four small triangles in the wrong way. And while I do it I will try a little 'practicing death.' It seems to me that is what someone somewhere called 'where the rubber meets the road.'
Friday, August 7, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Of Ringing Ears and Relationship
One day last October my ears began to ring. On the assumption that they would stop any second, I am sure I said what I always heard in a similar circumstance at my Mother's knee - "Somebody is talking about me." If that was true they have not since stopped. My ears have been ringing constantly since that day. Sometimes it is more ftrustrating than others but I am always aware of it, exept, perhaps, while I am sleeping. What to do about this? It appears that there is little if anything that can be done. I have tried a couple suggested remedies but the side effects are worse than the malady. And so I go about my days ever conscious of my ringing ears.
Paul in Philippians says this: "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.." Osawald Chambers says:"the spiritual saint never thinks of his life as secular or sacred; he sees everything....as the means of securing the knowledge of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is determined that we shall realize Jesus Christ in every domain of life...." I believe these things that I have just noted with all my heart but the constant awareness of it, the deep acceptance of it so that I am as constantly conscious of it as I am the ringing in my ears often eludes me.
How to change this lack, to improve this consciousness has often had me stymied. When I shared this confusion with my husband he reminded me of Brother Lawrence who 'practised the presence of God." Unable to find the copy of Brother Lawrence's book on the same topic that I know we have I googled 'Brother Lawrence." Before I had finished typing his name Google brought it up for me. I was amazed to find several entries on the beginning page about this man who died in 1691. What would have caused his memory to be relevant all these years later and part of our modern communication? Could it be his humility before God? He spent most of his life working in the kitchen of a Carmelite monastery. And as he cleaned those pots and pans he 'practised the presence of God.' And so I will practise, practise, practise.
Paul in Philippians says this: "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.." Osawald Chambers says:"the spiritual saint never thinks of his life as secular or sacred; he sees everything....as the means of securing the knowledge of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is determined that we shall realize Jesus Christ in every domain of life...." I believe these things that I have just noted with all my heart but the constant awareness of it, the deep acceptance of it so that I am as constantly conscious of it as I am the ringing in my ears often eludes me.
How to change this lack, to improve this consciousness has often had me stymied. When I shared this confusion with my husband he reminded me of Brother Lawrence who 'practised the presence of God." Unable to find the copy of Brother Lawrence's book on the same topic that I know we have I googled 'Brother Lawrence." Before I had finished typing his name Google brought it up for me. I was amazed to find several entries on the beginning page about this man who died in 1691. What would have caused his memory to be relevant all these years later and part of our modern communication? Could it be his humility before God? He spent most of his life working in the kitchen of a Carmelite monastery. And as he cleaned those pots and pans he 'practised the presence of God.' And so I will practise, practise, practise.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Weak and Feeble
Jesus said in Matthew 11; "If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago." Jesus breaks away from His own conversation to say to His Father; "I praise you Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned..."
Oswald Chambers says; " the weaker and feebler you are, the better. The one who has something to trust in is the last one who will come anywhere near saying---"I will serve the Lord."
How is my Wednesday morning in July trust working for me when the sky is cloudy and the temperature 52 deg. F. Matthew 11 also says: "Wisdom is proved right by her actions."
Oswald Chambers says; " the weaker and feebler you are, the better. The one who has something to trust in is the last one who will come anywhere near saying---"I will serve the Lord."
How is my Wednesday morning in July trust working for me when the sky is cloudy and the temperature 52 deg. F. Matthew 11 also says: "Wisdom is proved right by her actions."
Monday, June 29, 2009
Of Politics, Philosophy and Foxglove
I am not a political major nor have I ever held any kind of office except President of a Quilt Guild for one year. So, that I would venture to have anything to say politically is risky. But here goes!!
We hear those in power in one political system talk of 'winning the hearts and minds' of the people in another political system. At the same time the second political system blames the first political system for 'meddling' and in so doing is the cause of a failed election. I visited Englend many years ago and rode on a boat down the Thames and witnessed a billboard which read, ###### Unemployed. Will England Ever Work Again. A few years ago I visited Germany and witnessed the difference in the landscape, the difference in the number of delapidated buildings and so on from East to West. At the same time, I sat in with a group of prior East German teachers who had lived under the Communist rule for most of their lives. They were quick to talk of the good life they experienced under Communism. They had jobs, were guaranteed vacations, didn't have to think about who to insure their automobile with etc. This morning the man who 'madeoff' with the life savings of so many was to be sentenced for his greed but that will never bring back what his victims have lost. I watched one day as the politicians in the country that I live in yelled and screamaed at each other in an attempt to bring the government down but at the same time not quite bring it down because the opposition party wasn't in the right financial position to win a new election. I listened the other day to a medical expert give advice to the forty or so million people who live with no medical insurance and their access to medical care is in an emergency room after hours of waiting. To shorten that wait the advice was if one knew anyone who worked in that hospital be sure to drop their name. That would shorten the wait!! There was no suggestion to the people who had already waited for hours, who watched as their position in line was shoved further back by the namedropper.
Here's the philosophy. I have concluded from the little spot where I sit on this spinning globe that no political system will work without a myriad of flaws and failures unless the Golden Rule is practised. Likewise, there is no political system that would not work if the Golden Rule was practised That sounds easy, doesn't it? And it only took me a second or so to type it. The only problem is that the concept stretches far beyond the halls of Parliament or Congress or........
Saturday was a beautiful day on the shores of Georgian Bay. The man I live with deems that a very necessary part of our physical possessions, in order to live successfully on this part of the Great Lakes, is a fishing boat. Since the fish always seem to be sparse, I have found another good reason for this monster to take up most of our garage. In a little town about eight miles by water, there is the best ice cream parlour you can imagine. So on Saturday, with son, daugher-in-law and two grandchildren along that is just what we did. This particular ice cream store has no inside seating but two picnic talbes outside which gives a nice place to sit and lick before the half mile or so walk back to the boat. But on Saturday the tables were full. I felt irritation if not anger when I saw this. After all, we had come a full eight miles!! I was the one elected to stay with the dog outside. A minute or so into my wait the one table emptied. What I went through to try to position myself so that I could save this whole table must of been funny to watch!! The ice cream came after a while, we all had a place to sit so life was good!
It was on the ride back home that I became aware of just how far my actions and reactions were from the Golden Rule. What I had proposed as a solution to the failures of the governments of the world I was not able to put into practise with my own family at an ice cream parlour.
I think I hear someone suggesting, 'Yes, but that is only human nature' or 'God's grace covers those kinds of lapses.' The latter is true and I am so thankful for it but let me share what my phlox is telling me.
I have a phlox blooming beautifully in my garden just now standing tall at about seven feet. It is hard to form an accurate judgment as to the height of a phlox when from my five foot frame I drop my head back as far as it will go and the top of the phlox looks wa-a-ay up there. Why it is so tall I know not for sure. But I suspect, that from Phil Phlox's shady spot in the garden, he stands just as tall as he can to be nearer to the SUN. In the simple segments of a life's journey, like going to an ice cream store, I wonder how much happier we would be if we stood just as tall as we could in order to be as close as we could to the Son who, without failure, practised the Golden Rule.
We hear those in power in one political system talk of 'winning the hearts and minds' of the people in another political system. At the same time the second political system blames the first political system for 'meddling' and in so doing is the cause of a failed election. I visited Englend many years ago and rode on a boat down the Thames and witnessed a billboard which read, ###### Unemployed. Will England Ever Work Again. A few years ago I visited Germany and witnessed the difference in the landscape, the difference in the number of delapidated buildings and so on from East to West. At the same time, I sat in with a group of prior East German teachers who had lived under the Communist rule for most of their lives. They were quick to talk of the good life they experienced under Communism. They had jobs, were guaranteed vacations, didn't have to think about who to insure their automobile with etc. This morning the man who 'madeoff' with the life savings of so many was to be sentenced for his greed but that will never bring back what his victims have lost. I watched one day as the politicians in the country that I live in yelled and screamaed at each other in an attempt to bring the government down but at the same time not quite bring it down because the opposition party wasn't in the right financial position to win a new election. I listened the other day to a medical expert give advice to the forty or so million people who live with no medical insurance and their access to medical care is in an emergency room after hours of waiting. To shorten that wait the advice was if one knew anyone who worked in that hospital be sure to drop their name. That would shorten the wait!! There was no suggestion to the people who had already waited for hours, who watched as their position in line was shoved further back by the namedropper.
Here's the philosophy. I have concluded from the little spot where I sit on this spinning globe that no political system will work without a myriad of flaws and failures unless the Golden Rule is practised. Likewise, there is no political system that would not work if the Golden Rule was practised That sounds easy, doesn't it? And it only took me a second or so to type it. The only problem is that the concept stretches far beyond the halls of Parliament or Congress or........
Saturday was a beautiful day on the shores of Georgian Bay. The man I live with deems that a very necessary part of our physical possessions, in order to live successfully on this part of the Great Lakes, is a fishing boat. Since the fish always seem to be sparse, I have found another good reason for this monster to take up most of our garage. In a little town about eight miles by water, there is the best ice cream parlour you can imagine. So on Saturday, with son, daugher-in-law and two grandchildren along that is just what we did. This particular ice cream store has no inside seating but two picnic talbes outside which gives a nice place to sit and lick before the half mile or so walk back to the boat. But on Saturday the tables were full. I felt irritation if not anger when I saw this. After all, we had come a full eight miles!! I was the one elected to stay with the dog outside. A minute or so into my wait the one table emptied. What I went through to try to position myself so that I could save this whole table must of been funny to watch!! The ice cream came after a while, we all had a place to sit so life was good!
It was on the ride back home that I became aware of just how far my actions and reactions were from the Golden Rule. What I had proposed as a solution to the failures of the governments of the world I was not able to put into practise with my own family at an ice cream parlour.
I think I hear someone suggesting, 'Yes, but that is only human nature' or 'God's grace covers those kinds of lapses.' The latter is true and I am so thankful for it but let me share what my phlox is telling me.
I have a phlox blooming beautifully in my garden just now standing tall at about seven feet. It is hard to form an accurate judgment as to the height of a phlox when from my five foot frame I drop my head back as far as it will go and the top of the phlox looks wa-a-ay up there. Why it is so tall I know not for sure. But I suspect, that from Phil Phlox's shady spot in the garden, he stands just as tall as he can to be nearer to the SUN. In the simple segments of a life's journey, like going to an ice cream store, I wonder how much happier we would be if we stood just as tall as we could in order to be as close as we could to the Son who, without failure, practised the Golden Rule.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
What Was Is!
How to prepare for old age - practise a serene spirit and a grateful heart before your God.
I just came in from the Nursing Home and almost without exception I can say it is my favorite thing to do. Louise, from her Alzheimer riddled brain was busy getting ready for Christmas - the family was coming home. When I was ready to leave she said, "Oh,no! Don't go. I have made you a pie and put clean sheets on the spare bed" - indicative of her life. Though I only met her two weeks ago I dearly love her.
Then I went to see Verna who is strapped in her chair until someone puts her in bed. The position they lay her down in is the position they will find her in when they get her up to sit in her chair until the next bedtime. In our conversation today she said this to me. "If i have been able to draw someone closer to the Lord since I had my stroke, I would gladly have another one."
It is not possible to share in exchanges like this and not be lifted up, not come away desiring to be better than one has been. And so I look forward to Friday when I will again share a couple hours or so of my afternoon with the dear folks in the Nursing Home.
I just came in from the Nursing Home and almost without exception I can say it is my favorite thing to do. Louise, from her Alzheimer riddled brain was busy getting ready for Christmas - the family was coming home. When I was ready to leave she said, "Oh,no! Don't go. I have made you a pie and put clean sheets on the spare bed" - indicative of her life. Though I only met her two weeks ago I dearly love her.
Then I went to see Verna who is strapped in her chair until someone puts her in bed. The position they lay her down in is the position they will find her in when they get her up to sit in her chair until the next bedtime. In our conversation today she said this to me. "If i have been able to draw someone closer to the Lord since I had my stroke, I would gladly have another one."
It is not possible to share in exchanges like this and not be lifted up, not come away desiring to be better than one has been. And so I look forward to Friday when I will again share a couple hours or so of my afternoon with the dear folks in the Nursing Home.
Monday, June 15, 2009
What I Learned From A Farmer
I met a farmer about a week ago. At least, he was! He was busy running his Ontario farm, raising his boys, loving his wife when things suddenly changed. He went out one morning to do the usual morning chores but this morning, when he returned to the house his wife was blind. I can only imagine the concern and confusion that ensued. Doctors appointments and tests followed and the diagnosis for his wife was MS.
What to do now? The farmer and his wife decided that God had some plan for their lives that they knew not of at the moment, but they would entrust their lives to Him and see what happened. As he told his story to us we were amazed! The details of how everything happened that happened I either didn't hear clearly or can't remember but I know they ended up in Africa working to share the story of Jesus with the tribal people in Senegal.
My husband asked, "Which denomination were you with?"
His response, " No denomination. I just taught holiness."
He told us how he never asked for a dime in all that he did but had their needs met anyway, he told of delivering medical help to the people though his formal education hadn't gone far past Grade 8, he told of purchasing an airplane for $400 which he used, without training in how to fly it, to take needed help to the tribal villages.
My curiosity could be contained no longer. My question, "What do you mean, you taught holiness?" His eyes teared up, his voice cracked as he said, "I taught the wonderful gift of Jesus, I taught how much God loves us, that He wants to dwell in our hearts but can't except through the amasing gift of His son." At this point, he waved his arms to encompass the town and shared his sadness because he doesn't feel that most churches are focusing to the poing they should on that great gift. His passion for the atonement I won't soon forget.
His wife? Somewhere along the way in her more than three decades in Senegal, her sight was restored. The MS? I don't know. I know she lives today in the Nursing Home that I visit weekly. I read a line a few days ago: "There is no reality except God's reality." I thought of that line when I visited her. She has Alzheimer's. When I found her she was sitting in the Common Room, a huge clothes basket full of face cloths, dish cloths etc beside her. The contents of the basket she was folding and refolding over and over again. I spoke to her and said, "You are very busy." Her answer, "Yes, the children need these for school." We talked for a while, her in one sphere of reality, me in another. When I witnessed the serenity in her face, in her tone, in her movements I was not sure whose realsity God would take as His own. I said I will come and see you again. She said that would be nice but be sure and ring before you do. We might not be home.
I will go and see her again. I will ring before I do!
What to do now? The farmer and his wife decided that God had some plan for their lives that they knew not of at the moment, but they would entrust their lives to Him and see what happened. As he told his story to us we were amazed! The details of how everything happened that happened I either didn't hear clearly or can't remember but I know they ended up in Africa working to share the story of Jesus with the tribal people in Senegal.
My husband asked, "Which denomination were you with?"
His response, " No denomination. I just taught holiness."
He told us how he never asked for a dime in all that he did but had their needs met anyway, he told of delivering medical help to the people though his formal education hadn't gone far past Grade 8, he told of purchasing an airplane for $400 which he used, without training in how to fly it, to take needed help to the tribal villages.
My curiosity could be contained no longer. My question, "What do you mean, you taught holiness?" His eyes teared up, his voice cracked as he said, "I taught the wonderful gift of Jesus, I taught how much God loves us, that He wants to dwell in our hearts but can't except through the amasing gift of His son." At this point, he waved his arms to encompass the town and shared his sadness because he doesn't feel that most churches are focusing to the poing they should on that great gift. His passion for the atonement I won't soon forget.
His wife? Somewhere along the way in her more than three decades in Senegal, her sight was restored. The MS? I don't know. I know she lives today in the Nursing Home that I visit weekly. I read a line a few days ago: "There is no reality except God's reality." I thought of that line when I visited her. She has Alzheimer's. When I found her she was sitting in the Common Room, a huge clothes basket full of face cloths, dish cloths etc beside her. The contents of the basket she was folding and refolding over and over again. I spoke to her and said, "You are very busy." Her answer, "Yes, the children need these for school." We talked for a while, her in one sphere of reality, me in another. When I witnessed the serenity in her face, in her tone, in her movements I was not sure whose realsity God would take as His own. I said I will come and see you again. She said that would be nice but be sure and ring before you do. We might not be home.
I will go and see her again. I will ring before I do!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Jonah Or Not?
It was great fun to be with our children and grandchildren yesterday for our grandson's graduation. However, besides the downpouring rain that dampened our enthusiasm a bit at times, Grandpa lost a tooth off his denture just after he finished his dinner. This morning he was able to find a denturist who, for $96.00 glued it back on (Crazy Glue would have been cheaper). He did come home with, besides the glued in tooth, a story that sweetened the loss of the $96,00 just a bit. The denturist has it that a fisherman was fishing and got himself a nice catch. When he cleaned the fish he came upon a set of dentures. For some odd reason these teeth had a man's name on them. Said fisherman was able to track down the man to find out that his teeth had been missing for five years. A fish tale or a Jonah story?? I'll let you be the judge!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)