Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why Am I Here?

Parts of my life have not been easy. At one point I remember feeling like I was in a deep, dark pit trying desperately to get out. I would claw my way to the top, get my fingers positioned over the edge and feel like I was about to reach freedom when someone would step on them and I would descend once again to the bottom. I remember the beauty that surrounded me on my short drive to my work being completely obliterated by tears while my cry to God was: “Why is this happening to me?’

I also remember the time when I began to realize that it was not all about me - that it was about a cosmic conflict going on out there between God and Satan and I was being used by God in that conflict. And that made me mad!! I remember the feeling, how dare God put me through this in order to win His battle. And, yes, I was mad at God, real mad!! But as I worked it all through in my mind my feeling changed. I felt honoured, chosen by God to accomplish something for Him in this cosmic battle. I have shared this with a few people but mostly the response was not much more than a blank stare. Until now!

I have been using The Renovare Spiritual Formation Bible published in the New Revised Standard Version for my reading. In the introduction to the book of Ephesians, written by a Timothy Brown I read that ‘through a Christ-like lens’ reading of the book of Ephesians will receive the “hardware needed to enter the cosmic conflict around us bequeathed by Christ. “ Eph. 6:24 which says “Grace be to all who have an undying love for Jesus Christ.”

When the vagaries of life hit us it is a time ‘When Only God’s Grace Will Do’ - a time when the ‘hardware’ of God’s grace will keep us out of the pit - when an awareness of the ‘cosmic conflict’ will give meaning to our journey. That He is there doing His work through us and at the same time holding us close is almost beyond our comprehension. ‘God Moves In A Mysterious Way.’ Amen